When I first met this people, they instantly became my best friends. We enjoyed the same things, laughed at the same jokes and even had the same love for fashion.  It seemed like we had found each other at the right time.  The three of us had been in different groups of friends that didn’t get along or we didn’t feel comfortable in.  As a matter of fact, we were thrilled to find each other.

 
Our friendship grew very strong. I became close to their family and they’d been considered a part of our family as well.  Every one knew that wherever you found these two pals of mine, you find me, and vice versa.  We started going out and became best of friends since we’re 1^st year high school. We were in the same class, we both sat in the same seats and turned around to talk to each other most of the class hours, eat our favorite “bagoong” lunch together. We were always blocking the aisle, talking too loudly and not entertaining any new students in the class because we’re happy being with each other. The teachers knew we were best of friends, but we were also a disturbance.  Our big mouths got us into trouble, and we were warned that we would never been in the same seats again if we kept this up. We’ve been really close us time, days goes by.  We reached each other’s hand whenever any one had a problem, we shed tears, we laughed out loud, took a bath together, sharing clothes, exchanging letters, gifts, stuffs and all that. We knew each others flaws, weaknesses and our strong personalities. We compliment each other for the things that we did well. Three of us in fact became the honor students in our class.

 
And then graduation went by very quickly, college began.  We were not in the same school, but from time to time we still find a way where we can sit back and share stories with each other.  We still talked on the phone, went over to each other’s houses.  Still make up to our busy schedules.  Nothing could destroy our friendship.

 
But as we ended our college life and starts to be a career woman, it seemed as if we were being put to a test. All of us made new friends, in the world that our life faces in the future. My best friend Jam started to hang out with sophisticated new friends and was growing very popular. I rarely talk to her and I often see her unlike before.  I am also ashamed of approaching her coz she might just ignore me. I hate the thought of when I got the chance to talk to her and one of her popular friends would come up, maybe she would just walk away with me, leaving me in the dust. My best friend Kathleen, eventually slowly drifting away from me too because of our shifting schedules at work.  The phone call was not that easy for both of us too.  Talking and saying how we feel was difficult because we have no time to share stories with.  She’s also committed to a long term relationship with someone close to her heart, and she’s pre-occupied supporting her sister and family.

Today, as I’m typing this now. I look back on all the times we had before. Those memories that I will always treasure in my heart and memory. We shared incredible years together guys – years I will never ever forget. Years I don’t WANT to forget. You guys been a part of me and will always be.

There’s one thing I learned from our friendship. Things change, people change, and it doesn’t mean we forget the past or try cover it up.  It simply means that we have to move on, and treasure all the memories. It was about letting go and growing up, but never forgetting friends. I miss you so much --  KATE & JAM!

I really miss blogging here... I was actually in a very disgusting and non-tolerable situation this past few weeks because of traumatic break-up happened to me last January, that's why I don't have enough time to visit and write in here.. Some of you guys whose reading this now doesn't know the whole story, and as if you wish..and since, I'm a lil' bit ok now to disclose some information..(palpitation of heart) I'll share some of my utmost feelings...

I had a wonderful mem'ries with my ex-boyfriend JOK. For about 6 yrs relationship. I must say that it's been so wonderful time having him in my life. That relationship which I will treasure for the rest of my life. Before, I've been with ths serious relationship, I had a lot of past-time relationship, puppy loves, flirty bitchy flings relationship but when I met him, everything's change into right one.  He changed me a lot mentally, spiritually, emotionally over the past years that I am with him... He really means more to me.. my love for him gets stronger and stronger each day...  I know that I'm not really good in handling relationship, I maybe bad sometimes or most of the times, I maybe too possessive and selfish that I didn't notice "na nasasakal ko na pla xa"... I maybe so nagger infront of his friends, I maybe acting like more than her mom in demanding things to him, I've been so dependent to him that I wanted him to be with me all the time...I know I'm not that good, I'm not that perfect but this is ALL ME! I became liek this because I AM SO DAMN INLOVE WITH HIM... I focused all my life and love to him that I even forgotten my family and friends.. I even love him more than myself... more than anything else in this world.... which is I know it's absolutely and extremely WRONG!!! I should have keep some mystery about me... I shouldn't be treated him so kind, I shouldn't be that so open to him. I shouldn't give him things that I should have given to myself and to my family... Because now, who's suffering?! Is it my karma from the bad deeds I've done before?! How I wish it is not...

I know it's not too late.. I have learned lesson who made me strong in my own lil ways... GOD gave me this problem because HE BELIEVES IN ME, He trusted me so much that I can do it and solve it strongly! And Lord's alarming me for the things I have forgotten... like my friends, relatives, my family, and most of all... MYSELF... Now, look at me?! I can say that I developed myself into good one and have my spirits cross into the right path... I know I will survive without HIM... I even spent my childish days wihout him... so I know I CAN DO IT!!!Time and wounds will soon be heal.. I need to fight this depression I'm badly feeling... My father is one of the reasons why I am strong enough today.. I get this strength from him because he believes in me so much... He always tell me that I am a fighter and so I prove him correct... In addition to that, I've so many things in life that I've not yet accomplished... I still have plans for my future, for my family's wealth...

But though this things happened to me, I am not mad at him, infact... I'm so thankful indeed coz he made me stronger and made me realize that LIFE is full of surprises... I am not blaming him for causing me so much pain because I know he has his reasons why it happened... The thing that I dislike about is that he lied to me, pretending that he's good enough to dumped me for another which isn't correct... and the truth already revealed... but uuhhhmmm... damage has been done...

Well anyways, I am enjoying my life now more than before after our break-up... I often go out on a date... but maybe I am not ready to commit again... but I am not closing my doors... I am open for all.. hahahac",)

Just to make it short, HE dumped me for another girl with two kids, has a bf and so called "CPP" (certified pokpok) in their office EPIXTAR! That's bullshit right?! And peeps, don't be so judgemental... u still don't know the whole stories... he's been so nice to me that's why I don't have neglect at all... maybe it's just part of growing up or a part wherein Lord's testing how far we are from here! But gosh, it's been a month ... no "HI's ,, HELLO's" we broke up really not in a nice way.. that's why this/our situation still keeps hanging in the air and a lot of interrogations in my mind...

But above all, there is a one person who makes my day so happy... thanks to HIM! u know who u are... i am not begging u to love nor like me.. im juz being happy with you around...thanks...

And also, I juz need a piece of note here shouting my thank you's to JOY & EISEN whose been around me all the time since the very first day of our break-up... To all the advices and wisdom words shared by my Bispren, Jam, Jac, Marianne, X-tian, Mommy Noemi, Bona, Steph...thank you guys! u made me feel like I...

To AC and Chuck whose supported me all the way and never keep secrets! To my vicinity friends, BMS friends, Bang, Tita Belle, Kuya Wilson, Ate Lallie, Te Arlyn, Baby Josh, kuya Rowie.. thanks for the great time and memories that I have shared with you.. i won't forget that... I LOVE YOU PEEPS and im praying that YOU GUYS LOVE ME TOO...

Best of all, THANK YOU TO MY FAMILY... you're Gods best creation to me.. i love you all and i know we can make it...

im being so madrama this time!!! gotta go now...

Well, today... at this point of time, I'm here in Epixtar (where my bf's working) Im on the different floor, he's upstairs making calls... and I am here now relaxing myself through surfin and finally got the time to drop by here and make some notes.  Well... juz a few minutes and I will get back to him, kiss him goodbye and also gotta work... (anyways, it's just from the other bldg.)

If I wud juz take a look at it, the last entry that I did was dated July... and since that, many things had happened to me... many events and parties celebrated... many problems I've encountered...many tears that I shed... many friends I lost and found...many things in life I discovered...and many things in life I appreciated... most of all, I met GOD!!! (not physically but spiritually)...

And 4 hours to go... IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! Happy Birthday to me....

THANKS LORD!!! thanks for giving me another life and peace of mind ... This time, I'll be more good than what I used to be... thank you so much.. I owe my life to you!... Thanks to my BELOVED PARENTS and to JOK, JAC, KATZ who's been there for me all the time... i love you guys...

so till next time ... hope I can catch up with more stories to tell...